So this blog is mostly about how we as a family are all doing and what we're up to. Considering my darling husband who was meant to be involved with authoring it has left it completely up to me, I'm gonna take this opportunity to spring a few of my thoughts on the world.
Tomorrow marks nine whole years since my father was shot outside a post office in Westmead. Now this post could go in to a whole guilt issue I have but I guess thats for another post. Today I am plagued with thoughts of how reliant I am on male opinion. Not the place most women would like to believe they stand, but what can you do !?
You see the 31st of October this year, marked a year since getting the news that Bruce, my principal at that stage had died the night before. Until that stage I hadn't really realized just how lucky I was. Unlike my siblings, who I am sure felt the untimely loss of our father just as much as did, I seemed to gain Bruce. A good friend said to me last week when talking about a lost loved one "they (meaning the loved one) sent xxxxx to her, they knew what she needed and they found the perfect person to take their place". Strangely this was the day after Bruce's anniversary and so it started me thinking. My father had sent me Bruce. Here I was in a very strange country, no extended family around, about to start a new and at that stage very scary job, and I needed him. He couldn't be with me in person so he found me someone just like him. Now I could also believe it was my Heavenly Father but well that just perpetuates the male opinion issue doesn't it hehehe.
You see as I sit here tonight dreaming back to where I was nine years ago and all that has happened since then, just the same as I sat almost two weeks ago, it is bittersweet. I have both heart-wrenchingly sad memories of both men but more than anything I have those skip-a-heartbeat happy memories.
Both men were my go-to when I needed confirmation or opinion on plans, I could vent and moan - although not too much because I knew they'd put me back in my place lickety-split :) I was pushed by both, they had confidence in me and all that I could be and made me realize I was the only one holding myself back.
As I sit here singing their praises and feeling just a little angry at both of them for skipping out on me, I am ok with the idea that as a woman I felt the need, sheesh still do need a man to tell me I can do it - whatever the "it" might be.
Maybe its because I can also say thanks to my amazing mom and sisters and wonderful friends for their examples of how a woman can standup for anything in this world, who knows hehehehe.
And lest my fabulous brother and darling husband feel left out, I couldn't continue without you either !
But seriously, thankyou to all the wonderful people past, present and future who have and will play a part in my existence, I could only wish my daughters have similar.
Daddy, it doesn't feel like a day has passed, I miss you just as much as ever.
1 comment:
When you are home for the holidays, take a drive down to Jamieson park and see the Tree of Light. This year there is a bright light that shines on that tree in remembrance of Daddy, another for Granny & Grandpa Chaplin, another for Granny & Grandpa Wall and one for our beloved pets who are with us no longer. Take a moment & remember. They shall shine for this month of the holidays ^ be a reminder of all that they meant to us.
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